There probably wasn't a topic we didn't discuss in those first few weeks. I started really looking forward to those conversations. Of course, I had the discernment weekend scheduled and I was going to meet the Bishop of The Grenadines, where I was to go on mission.
Although I was thoroughly enjoying and looking forward to our conversations late into the night, I continued to discern my missionsary calling. I had always had a desire to be a missionary, but I must admit my desire to be a wife and mother was always stronger. However, I wanted what God wanted for me, but I just couldn't figure that out. AND past experience told me that chances are this romance wouldn't play out long term.
After a month of so, Bruce told me that he felt like it was time to meet in person. He came to New Orleans. I picked him up at the airport and we went to dinner. My first thought of him was that he was so cute in manners and looks. His shyness and kindess was so charming to me. I could tell he was very nervous, as was I. He brought me three, was it pink or yellow, roses. We went to dinner and had a very easy, comfortable conversation. Again, there was never any awkward moments. I picked him up at his hotel at 7:30 the next morning for 8:00 mass. This would be the beginning of a very long day that wouldn't end until 11:00 that night. We went to mass the next day (Sunday) at St. Louis Cathedral and spent the whole day in the French Quarter.
There was such a peace that weekend. I can't speak for Bruce, although he did feel it also, but I felt like I had known him my whole life. Comfort and peace are the words to come to mind to describe that first weekend.
I then went to Chicago for Easter. What fun we had. It was great to see Bruce in his own environment. His family was and is amazing. It was here that I got to know Bruce, the artist and philosopher. He has so many dimensions to his personality. He shared with me his paintings, poetry, and deep love for and connection to music, which we share. He also shared with me his writings on his "Theology of Design", which amazed and really impressed me. He also shared with me his love for outdoors. We went canoeing (on a cold and rainy day). I didn't really like the cold and rainy part, but loved watching him loading/unloading his canoe, getting everything ready, "reading" the river, and his stories of white water rafting adventures. It was this weekend that I REALLY became attracted to him and those "really like" feelings started to appear. However at the end of this trip, he started to get scared and told me that he wanted to slow things down for awhile. Although I was upset, I had that peace again. It was a deep down peace that told me that he was scared and we would get through this. I never really got "upset". I remember my brother-in-law picked me up from the airport and when he asked, "How did it go?", I think my reply was something like, "I'm in love" even though he had JUST told me he wanted to slow things down. I guess I just knew we would be together forever. Well, of course, he called me 3 days later and everything was back to the way it was. He didn't really have to explain what happened, I knew it was just an "overwhelmed feeling" because of what was happening to us.
I think we spent about $3000 in May traveling back and forth from New Orleans to Chicago. At the end of May, I was back on a plane headed to Chicago. The plane had not taken off yet. I was thinking and praying and then I started to get that "scared" feeling. I started to think that I was falling and if this relationship didn't go the distance, I would be devastated. I was praying, Lord if this isn't the one for me, SHUT the door RIGHT NOW. It was then that I prayed this prayer, "Guardian Angel, if this is the man God has chosen for me, please tell his heart about the sign." Remember the sign from 8 years ago, back in 1996. I had asked God to chose a husband for me and let me know the one he chose by giving me a sign. I wrote the sign in my journal and NEVER shared it with anyone. It was that he would give me one long stem red rose. Over the last 8 years I had gotten 3 pink roses, 3 yellow roses, a single pink rose, and even a dozen red roses. I even received a card with a photo of a little boy giving a little girl a long stem red rose from the other guy I met and had a relationship on Ave Maria Singles. I thought that might be the sign, but that relationship didn't turn out.
OK, sitting on the plane for my 2 hour flight to Chicago and pray, "Guardian Angel, if this is the man God has chosen for me, please tell his heart about the sign." Again that peace was there. Arrived in Chicago, Bruce picked me up. When I came down the escalator and he was there waiting for me (just like in a movie) his hands were behind his back. I greeted him and looked behind his back, NO ROSE. I was actually looking for it. Went to the car, put my bags in the back and he opened the car door for me. There sitting on my seat was a LONG STEM RED ROSE.
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